gastric

i been awhile since my post. even though no one reading.
i have acute gastric for 6 years and still counting, because of skipping meals. i feel regret.

now, i don't know either it's gastric or i start developing bulimia.
i feel very stress, i throw up anything that i ate, including water.

deep down, i feel very weak, sick, and sad.
an aunt hold my hand when giving me soy sauce at the cafe, how kind.
she reminds me of my grandma and mum. i feel tore inside.

anyhow, i should force myself to eat.
maybe the best person whom i always eat  together is gone.
if not, i will faint.

i pray this unease feeling will go away soon.
i want to be me again.

bye.