What i really want in my life ?

hi, 

my life is just stagnant. I been working desk job which is super boring, and i want to change my job badly. 
i just want to be alive, to do what i love most, and to sell clothes. I know i would not make billions by selling clothes, but i am keen into it since i was small, I watch my mother to make beautiful piece of dress for her clients. 


the irony is, i cant sell my dress although i have give 200 bucks discount, and i still want to have own business.
i wish i can do something meaningful in my life. honestly , my daily job is killing me and i don't feel like i can be happy anymore in the office. the one thing that i look up everyday is the lunch time, where  i can eat happily with my friends, I feel so hard to get back to the office when the lunch hour finished. 

i wish i can be a barista, smiling while making coffee  for everyone that come to the shop. A librarian, it sound super nice job too. i had a small library in my house when i was small. i used to borrowed lots of books although my school library allow 2 books per se. i used to read tonnes of books since i was young. 

i love to travelled too. i travelled when i was heart broken, when i'm happy , or simply because i missed the food there. i find that by seeing others people life make me become grateful and never take things for granted. i love the moments when i get back from a long holiday,and see the person that i missed, and lying on my own comfortable bed. 

the ultimatum in my life, is i want to be happy, i've been crying so much this passing three years, and i have a theory, that we are in borrowed time, time with you is borrowed to me. i hope in my borrowed time with you, i will never forget to make you know, how much i cherish our moments together, whether it is good or bad, i hope i will always makes you giggle with my silly jokes and i hope you are always happy when im around with you.